Brighton & Hove Taxi Trade Forum

After I have been insulted and crucified there I now have been evicted from the forum and obviously a lot of viewers here are only looking for where they can find logs on my blog they could collect for the stake pile to burn me on. Well, go ahead, have fun with that, it all adds to the flavour. I don´t need Brighton, Brighton needs me. That´s one of the famous Lembke-quotes you can find here and that should make you think!

Since I can´t post on that forum any more and half of it seems to be here anyway – I´ve done this post on TDO today: So that lady from the (German) office called me today. She told me that it would mandatory for an English guy to have a German driving licence for the first time application. For a renewal it wouldn´t, because even if this English guy went back to England and exchanged his licence back into a UK-one, there would be still a German one kept and that way a register where they can look for points on the licence, just don´t ask me about how this should work exactly. Anyway, that leaves me with still fighting the good fight, only I will give “poor and wrongly accused Brighton & Hove HCO by arrogant German wannabe-writer” a break and will try to settle this on a UK-national, respectively EU-level. Still, it would be helpful to know how this is being handled with different councils. For it is very likely, according to that piece of info from Canterbury, that there aren´t any standard regulations about this – and that would still leave poor B&H HCO in the responsibility to do something.

A summary of what was going on on the numpty-forum:


At first I made a nice introductional post pointing out my post on TDO and that I had a Swiss licence. Andyp welcomed me on the forum, yet called my quest fruitless and said he is glad the council stuck to its rules. He then asked if I´d still “hold my Swedish licence”, he also made a mistake in typing, which made it difficult for me to understand what he meant. This already annoyed me and lead to some surplus aggravation already, so I would call this a bad start already.


Although I had corrected him about the Swedish licence, Andyp still was under the impression I am Swedish, which now gives me the impression he just doesn´t read what I am writing. Another forum member interferes and also shows he doesn´t read what I am writing “You wanted a special privilege, to be allowed to drive a Brighton & Hove taxi with a Swiss licence, what makes you think you are entitled to this?” This is utter bollocks I didn´t say any of this. Although they don´t read what I am writing they are attacking me, accusing me of their own faults: “Remove the obstinacy & insults, state your FACTS clearly & succinctly then maybe, just maybe, some might listen”


It finally seeped through to Andyp I am not Swedish, he then he asks me “Do you currently have a UK driving licence?” although I have made it perfectly clear I currently hold a German licence. I am under the impression already this is truly a forum for numpties. People are beginning to react in a hostile manner, one posts a pair of boots, the other calls what I have written “tripe”.


The character using the nick “Betty Swollocks”, the one who has posted the pair of boots, now became really engaged in this and began to unload a huge pile of personal rage on me. He turned the fact I just couldn´t pay any taxes, because there was no money left against me, accusing me of making a runner. None of the crazy types I was living with as a lodger had that money declared!


They were beginning to react really hostile and racist against me, I mentioned that the English  are not really that much well regarded by many people in Germany too and quoted someone from the German cab-forum: “For heaven´s sake, don´t bring any limeys here. I don´t want anything to do with those apes from the island. They are worse than a million Salafists!”


Now there was some useful info in between from someone telling me that there had been drivers in my situation before and they had done the licence anew.

I was now emphasising a bit my European standpoint and responsibility, which didn´t lead to much enthusiasm, as expected, I got the feeling I am being dismissed, Andyp says the thread has run it´s course.

Then I made a mistake in my sometimes painful moments of truth I mentioned the trouble with that girl I am having currently for five years just to show them that it´s not a German-against-English-authorities thing.


Now, first, I want to make it perfectly clear that I don´t have any more trouble with women other than that I didn´t finish my studies in medicine and instead decided to write about a job with a bad reputation, full of jerks. I was even living with a woman for 10 years which is now married to a judge!

But I ran into this girl 5 years ago, which appears to me was sort a destiny thing, it is almost like this was meant to be, by a higher being and in the course of these troubles with her that led to me ultimately writing a book about her she went hysterical and must have been imagining all kinds of things which led to a heap of false accusations an injunction against me, which I violated many times, had to, to put things right again, and to a minor conviction of a fine of 260 Euros.


The whole thing was called “stalking”, although I did nothing more than to desperately try come to peaceful terms with her again and make her see that this all nothing but hysteria on her side and that´s why I named my book “Zicking!”, which is a German expression for “bitching!”


I said on the forum: “I repeat, I am in the process of appealing, back then in 2009 I was underestimating the real meaning of a conviction, I thought, my, it´s only 260 Euros I have to pay and then they leave me alone, I was about to go Switzerland and I just hadn´t the nerve to stand up against this, woman claimant, her woman solicitor, my woman solicitor, which I had dismissed only then, woman state attorney and woman judge, man, I felt like those poor women back then accused of witch-craft and burnt on a stake-pile, it was in no way different. I can only say, I love this girl, despite of what she has done to me (and she is doing to herself) and I will always love her and I am sure that this will have a happy ending, because love is always stronger than hate.”

Yet from that moment on I was finished for good on the numpty-forum! Had they been abusive to me from the very start they now lynched me, hang the nigger!


I said there: “You know, some English people really scare me, when I think of most of the SUN-readers and football hooligans in this country… Anyway, do it the SUN-way, jump to conclusions, simplify, do wrong quotes, turn anything against me, portray me instead of what I am, someone with the best intentions, as the sick scum you want me to portray – those of you who do that would have done it anyway, I can´t change that, I can´t reach those people anyway.”

I pointed out that I got my German licence renewed in 2011, despite all that and they have an enhanced CR-check as well there, but it was all in vain, they still went on and it finally resulted in admin Andyp saying (still not able to write my name correctly)


“I have unlocked this topic to allow others who have been reading this to add any comments…. but Mr Jochen Lembre is no longer a forum member so we will not have to be bogged down by his unbalanced way of life.

I have had a couple of pm’s about this chap… and asking as to why the topic was allowed to go on for so long.

Now get a hold of this!

The main reason being that it was hoped that this forum would do the Brighton & Hove taxi trade a big favour and allow this chap to show his true self and that those people who are responsible for licensing drivers would get the opportunity to have a proper insight to this chaps character.

Nobody asked him to post on here.. and all the information he gave about himself was offered freely.

Rambot did a great favour by reading through his blog site.. something I couldnt be bothered to do.. and forwarded the following that this chap had written for public viewing:

Now get a hold of that:

“So, I have one girl getting in my cab and saying that it smells like coffee, I offer her a sip and you know what, she accepts and drinks from out of my coffee cup! Then I have another girl and we have a nice chat, there she says, before she gets out, “come on, give me a kiss!” So I do, I kiss her on the mouth. And you know what, it feels sooo wonderful, she is really young and pretty and it has been ages since I’ve kissed a girl on the mouth”

I sincerely hope that this man is never licensed in Brighton & Hove and that the HCO is now fully aware of the above statement made by Jochen Lembke who admits in public the above actions whilst driving a Brighton & Hove hackney carriage.”


Only to be followed by: “I am gob smacked at that part of his blog when he states those encounters with those two women passengers while working as a B&H cab driver! Totally unbelievable that he considers himself to be a responsible taxi driver!! This man is obviously a menace and should never be allowed back into the UK let alone work as a cab driver. If the HCO is reading this then please make a note of this man as he is not wanted in the trade!”


More: “well done Andy for opening up the topic again, the man is a self confessed lunatic, pervert, and probably just desperate for a woman type of nutcase. This man must never be allowed to drive a taxi here, no telling what he may get up to. The worst thing of all is not only the doing but the shouting about it also. He clearly states in his blog he has even written a book about the bitch, the one he was stalking.” 

Now I want to make it perfectly clear as I did on this blog here before already, I left England because I think a large part of the English is rude, racist, aggressive, bigoted, chauvinistic and repressed, it´s the Tories, SUN-readers and football-hooligans that make me sometimes  really afraid of this country.

I do know it is only a part of England and other people are really nice and that these people are all over Europe too – but still, being confronted on a forum like this with at these types – I might better not go back to England ever again.

I also want to point out that I still write about and portray this job and its drivers and I don´t necessarily have to be an active driver in England for that!


About Jochen Lembke

Europe's cab-driving writer
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